Finding God in the darkness (godly worship)

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?

This is how I felt two weeks ago.

Like a sunset, where the light fades so gradually that you didn't notice it until suddenly it's dark, that is what happened to me over the last couple of months.

It started with a work situation that got worse, and then I was pushing myself beyond what I should have done to publish my latest book until I had no resources left.

I asked my facebook friends to pray:



And I experienced the presence of God for a day. It was like the clouds parting and the sun shining through.

But yet the sun was always there - it's just I couldn't see it directly.

I still felt cold as on a winter's day but the glory of seeing the sun brought hope that spring would return.

But after that day, when the clouds covered the sun again, it was tempting to think that "prayer doesn't work" as it didn't stay sunny all the time...

God is here

But I realised that actually prayer showed me the reality of the sun's omnipresence.

God is here with me in the darkness, as David wrote in Psalm 23:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me

He is with me in the darkness and as he also wrote in Psalm 139:

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

I might not feel him, but He is here.

What I can do is acknowledge that truth and thank Him for being here with me.

Shiva

In Shiva, the Jewish grieving process, they a friend or member of the family sit with the bereaved for 7 days. They don't say anything they just keep company and listen.

There's something so godly about this. They act like the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, who is with us in our distress.

This is how Christ fulfils His promise of being with us always. This is the truth whether we feel it or not.

I just have to open myself up to that truth.

I felt like someone on an operating table undergoing open heart surgery. Therefore I just have to be still and cease my striving and let the Great Physician operate on me.

I was done with crying out for change and rescue, I was in a place where I just had to sit and open myself up to him.

Sometimes that involved just sitting and letting the words of worship songs speak truth into my life (especially if my thoughts are spiralling down - songs catch my attention and break my chain of thought).

Sometimes that involved reading the Psalms of lamentations where David expresses the reality that I'm going through. But mostly it was just sitting acknowledging the truth of His comforting presence.

Sometimes it was just pouring out my heart like David. Even though it might feel like I was talking to empty space - the act of talking establishes intimacy with the One who is always there, and let's the light pour in as I was honest about my struggles and disappointments - even with how He has not rescued me the way I was hoping.

Sometimes, like David in Psalm 22, it was remembering the previous times of darkness, like when our babies died, but then recalling how He met us in those times.

And gradually the healing came.

Healing

He revealed that my current circumstances had triggered a repressed memory of bullying by a former boss where I was hauled into her office and was being told what I should and shouldn't do.

Now the Holy Spirit only ever brings up things that He was to shine light into and bring healing. So I knew that He wanted to transform this memory - I needed to see Jesus in this memory.

I asked "where were you when that was happening?"

I have an active imagination - which is why I hear God speak to me through stories and then write them in turn - and I wanted to be sure it was Him and not just me imagining Him in the memory. So I had determined that if it was Him then He would do something I wouldn't ever expect in my imagination.

And it happened - I saw Jesus in my memory hugging the boss and telling me how she had not been loved by her mother and so she sought to control others to help her cope with her out-of-control life.

This broke me. No longer was I in the memory feeling like a little boy and helpless. I rose up from my seat and responded to what Jesus was doing and starting praying for her. This not only transformed the memory but also called the godly man out of me.

This has now gradually filtered through to my current life - the circumstance at work has found it's proper place. It's annoying and I don't think the current direction the company is taking is the right one - but it's no longer causing the anxiety it did and I am gradually feeling better in my head and able to function normally.

Spring is coming.

Summary

If it helps here is a kind of rough summary of how I worshipped (gave God worth) in the darkness:

1. Admit the truth of where you're at
2. Admit the greater truth of Immanuel - God with us
3. Use songs, psalms and talk to express to Him and yourself where you're at and the truth of who He is
4. Recall His works and faithfulness in the past
5. Rest and receive all that He has in the present

Father, for those reading this who are where I was at - ,may You meet them like You met me. May they know You are there, even if they can't feel You. May they rest in Your everlasting arms. Help them to open up and deepen their relationship with You and receive all that You have for them in this season. In name of Jesus who has experienced the worst the world can throw at us and who is with us now through the Comforter. Amen.

Teaching Children About Authority in Christ (godly parenting)

It is my great pleasure to host a guest post from Kevin E Winters who runs Doing Life on Fire Ministries and is the author of two books on hearing and discerning God's voice.

This is an abridged version of Kevin's excellent teaching. The PDF of the full version is available to download here or you can download an mp3 of me reading it here or watch/listen to it on YouTube:

From Torment to Tormentor

What do you when you are a grown man and you have monsters coming out of the closet and things touching you in the middle of the night? Well that was my experience in the early nineties. You see, at that particular time in my life, God was introducing me to a gift called discerning of spirits. Needless to say, I did not enjoy this training period but God used it to teach me about the badge of authority we have in the name of Jesus that makes demons tremble. Eventually, it was me doing the harassing.

This all happened my single days. Then I found a good "thang" and we had children. One of them started showing signs of prophetic gifting very early and spoke of seeing things. It became apparent to me that I needed to train my children because I now knew that the monster in the closet was very real.

How to Convey the Idea

Jesus is Everyone's Boss...Even Satan

First I taught my children that Jesus was like the Chief Police Officer. To really make this idea stick, I also told them that Jesus being a police officer meant that there were bad people who were breaking God's laws. I them told them that these law breakers are spirits called demons. That really stuck with them and embedded Jesus in their minds as one with power to force bad things to do right.

You Are His Deputies

The next thing I did was teach them that as followers of Jesus Christ that we too are police officers. I then explained to them that as police officers we are also responsible for making sure the demons stay in line. To reinforce this idea I obtained three toy badges, one for each child. I then pinned it to them. Then I made them wear them around the house to solidify in their minds that they are indeed the ones in power over the demons.

I also used the substitute teacher to help them understand the concept of the deputy. I explained to them that the Bible says that Jesus went away to His Father to prepare a place for us, and as soon as He was ready He would come back for us. I then explained to them that in order for Him to leave He had to leave someone in charge to deal with the law breaking demons. I further explained to them that those people who were to take Jesus' place is them...the Church. To make it plain for them I said, "When you go to school and the teacher is not there, who is in charge? They said, "The substitute!" Then I said, "So are you telling me that the substitute can assign homework? They said, "Yes." Then I said, "Can they tell you what to do and send you to the office if you disobey them." Again they said yes. Then I said, "So you agree that the teacher has given the substitute all of the same powers that he/she has." Agreeing again, they said, "Yes." Then I said, "That is what you are...Jesus' substitute. And as such you can tell demons what to do and they will obey you." I told them that the demons were not going to obey them per se, but they would respect the authority they have as a substitute. I ended saying, "That is what a deputy is, He is a substitute for the chief police officer."

The Result

After teaching my children this lesson, demons decided it was time to test their understanding. Their goal is to try to steal the idea from our heart before it blossoms into understanding that we effectively use (Matt 13:19). So my children began to have different kinds of encounters. Now again, these encounters were not unique for my children. My oldest daughter was only 8 when she first reported to me that something was touching her in the night. She said, "Demon, leave me in Jesus name." My daughter said that the touching stopped and to this day it has not happened again.

Bringing in Reinforcement

Modelling the Truth

Your children will have to see you walk out the truth in the same way that the disciples saw Jesus modelling His teaching for them. They saw Him cast out demons. They saw Him heal the sick. That's why Jesus could give them power and send them out to do the work without Him being present.

Children do what children see! Why should they believe in the power of God that never seems available to you?

That means that you must be prepared to assist them in reinforcing their authority. One time all four of them were attacked with sickness. All four! So I went to each one of them and with confidence and calmness commanded the spirit to leave them and it did. As you can imagine, that was a confidence booster for them to see what they were taught come to life.

Now I can do this because I God has taught me some things that make this possible. If you want to know what He taught me you can hear the teaching yourself on my YouTube channel.

Restating the Truth

You are also going to find that some challenges are too big for their faith. The disciples also crossed paths with a boy that had a demon that did not respond to their authority or faith. But yet a few chapters before they were casting out demons with no problem. It is logical to assume that the resistance of the demon to their authority caused them to lose the faith they had earlier. Hence Jesus' statement regarding them having "no faith." When these moments occur take it as an opportunity to teach and model for them how to keep growing and going forward. I do a lot of reinforcing and restating the idea of authority in Christ.

If a farmer plants a seed and waters it but goes out the next day looking for a crop and becomes discouraged, we know s/he is impatient. A good farmer knows that it takes time, patience, and persistence to get a good crop. And let me tell you, as they get older, they will get tired of the reminder, but stay with it. My children roll their eyes sometimes but they also lay hands on each other when it is required.

Reinforcing What is Right

Lastly, you will need to reinforce standards of righteousness and stress the importance of holiness. I know that as Christians we are holy but Peter also reminded us to "be holy." Paul also says, "be angry and do not sin, nor give place to the devil." He seems to indicate that while sin has lost its power over the believer, it has not lost its appeal to the demonic. We must understand that there are some things that attract monsters to our closet.

Here is an example. My daughter is an incredible artist. One day her arts teacher gave her an assignment to draw a still life. So she chose to draw a Buddha statue. Nearly half of the way through the drawing she came down with a cold. I asked her if she had attempted to get rid of it. She said yes but it won't go. So I prayed for her and it would not go. So I said, "Lord, what is going on here." This developed into bronchitis. God reminded me of the passage “you should not create any graven images”. I thought, "Really, Lord. You are holding her accountable for an art assignment?" So I told her what it was and why it was there. At first she gave me that "here dad goes again" look, but she believed me. Anyway, afterwards we prayed together repenting and asking for forgiveness.

The next day the cough started to subside and a day later the mucus was completely gone; it had cleared up on its own. My daughter got to see first-hand the relationship between sin, demons, and sickness.

Teaching them About Spiritual Warfare

One morning I came into my daughter’s room and I noticed that just over her bed was a shadowy figure. Since I knew what it was I rebuked it, but I did wonder why it was there.

However, it would come back from time to time and I also started to notice that my daughter was referring to herself as "weird" and her view of herself began to deteriorate.

I needed to teach her the battlefield in her mind. To do so I used the last supper: In John 13 we see Satan's mode of operation. First, he gave Judas an idea, "And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray Him." Then Judas' acceptance of that idea gave Satan access to his life, "Now after the piece of bread, Satan entered him." Jesus then speaks to Satan and tells him to do what you do quickly. Judas now yields to the will of Satan, "Having received the piece of bread, he (Satan through Judas) went out immediately."

This shows my children the importance of guarding their thought life. Sometimes the negative voices are demons trying to gain access to their lives and bend them to its will.

Lastly, I teach them that Satan is a liar and that lies bind us but truth frees us. Lies are chains in the spirit and truth are keys in the spirit. Knowing this I speak truth against those lies that the enemy tries to sell my children. If you children suffer from low self-esteem that is affecting their behaviour, it is because there is a lie from hell that is giving the spirit access to your child. Find the lie and speak truth to it. It will break the spirit's hold.

What They Really Need to Know

1. Sin opens the gate an allows evil to come in. That means that even though we know that God forgave and forgives us for sin, that does not mean that Satan respects those boundaries. He will see an open gate as an invitation to come in and bite you.
2. The blood of Christ is the legal right you have to freedom. Though sin may let Satan into our lives, repentance and the blood of Christ closes the gate and prohibits Satan from holding it again you.
3. Choose your battle and choose your weapons. Sometimes they will come up against things that they don't have the faith for and getting in your bed is a good option!
4. Sin does not diminish your authority, only your faith can do that. A crooked police officer is still a police officer with authority. Similarly, sin does not give Satan authority over them – it is God who corrects them not Satan. This is important so they don't live in fear of being trapped by a spirit claiming to have rights over them due to some area of their life that God is still working on.
5. Reinforce the role of the Holy Spirit as a helper. God has provided them with a team to help them win – they have the Spirit, angels and that all of heaven behind them.
6. Teach them the process. Satan gives them an idea; a lie. They believe the lie. The acceptance of that lie makes them bendable to Satan's will.
7. Teach them the truth about what God says through His word about them. Understanding "the truth" about who they are, what they are created for, and their spiritual position. gives them resistance power.

Hopefully, this will article will lead to an improvement in your quality of life, quality of sleep, and the betterment of your relationship with God and your family.

Forbidden Friendships – can men and women be friends? (godly sexuality)

After reading the exceptional book Forbidden Friendships it is my absolute pleasure to have the author, Joshua D Jones, guest post on the topic of whether Christian men and women can ever be friends:

Having close friendships with members of the opposite gender is healthy, biblical and important for spiritual growth. Sadly, in the name of integrity, some churches construct walls that keep us from meaningful brother-sister friendships. These divisions are neither biblical nor in line with church history at its best. And contrary to their promise of safety, adhering to them actually puts us at greater risk of sexual immorality, not less.

Many churches employ the terms “brother” and “sister”—but they are often empty of any real meaning. Some now teach that men and women should never be close friends, believing that mixed friendships will lead into sexual sin or “emotional” affairs. Others may admit that men and women can share friendship—but then they let it die the death of a thousand qualifications. One well-known church website boasts of how none of the church staff ever “has lunch with someone of the opposite sex” or “rides alone in the car with someone of the opposite sex.” Boundaries abound. Sadly, though these rules have become commonplace over the last 20 years, adhering to them does not appear to have made us any purer.

God designed us male and female. We need each other. Marriage and family are not the only places this need should be expressed. If that were the case, single people would be helplessly cut off from the love and fellowship mixed friendship brings. And let’s be honest: we often don’t know what to do with the singles in our midst. In other centuries, Christian celibacy was viewed as a gift and a symbol of the coming kingdom of God. Jesus was single. Paul was both single and thankful for it. Now we pray for single people in hopes they find the magical one and only - giving them advice that is more Hollywood than Holy Word.

In response to the sexual revolution of the 1960s, various high-profile scandals – and the recent changes in marriage laws – many Christians have gotten defensive about marriage. It is right for us to defend the Biblical doctrines of marriage. But in doing so we have exalted the relationship to a godlike status – promising it can fulfil every social and emotional need. In the process, friendship – an institution that was once sacred to Christians – has taken a far back seat to marriage, out of fear that a friend might compete with a spouse. Friendships with the same gender are often neglected, and mixed friendships are seen as taboo.

My wife cannot fulfil the role of all of the sister/ mother relationships that my soul needs. Neither can I replace all of the brother/ father relationships that God may have for my wife in the church. We are not called to be a gathering of tightly defined families for God. We are called to be THE Family of God. It’s true that we must avoid putting ourselves in situations that bring about strong temptation – with either gender. And, yes, cross sex friendships can have pitfalls that we must be wise to avoid. We are naïve if we pretend that our fallen nature always makes this easy. But the possibility of something good being abused or misused is not a valid excuse for avoiding the good thing altogether.

Our new integrity rules are counter-productive because we have genuine needs for healthy male-female relationships. If we don’t get those needs met in healthy ways, we make ourselves vulnerable to seeking them out in unhealthy ways. The man who receives holy female affirmation from sisters in Christ is less likely to search for unholy female affirmation on a computer screen or and improper relationships. The woman who has godly fathers and brothers in the church caring for and encouraging her is less likely to be looking for ungodly masculine love through erotica and illicit interactions. By separating ourselves from healthy interaction with the opposite sex, we are not farther from sin but more open to it.

Contrary to what Freud taught, we can live happily without sex. But we can’t live happily without intimacy. Paul instructs Timothy, “Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters” (1 Tim 5:2). The church is to be a place where father, mother, sister, brother, aunt and uncle relationships can flourish – across biological, generational, and gender lines.

Joshua D. Jones tweets, reads, prays, and smokes pipe tobacco in his yellow arm chair in Therfield, England. He enjoys his family and meeting up with his best friends for coffee, food, and conversations about everything and nothing. He gets to pastor Therfield Chapel – a delightful church full of fun and ferocious saints. He frolics in fields of nouns, verbs, and alliterating adjectives over at his blog, sanitys-cove.com.

In addition to his book, Forbidden Friendships, he has just released Elijah Men Eat Meat – a book of short but strong readings for young men based on the life of Elijah.